Sermon: “But I say…”
wayne mclaughlin
Leeds Presbyterian Church
September 6, 2020 – (worship through Zoom)
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Deuteronomy 19.15-21 CEB
15 A solitary witness against someone in any crime, wrongdoing, or in any sort of misdeed that might be done is not sufficient. The decision must stand by two or three witnesses. 16 Now if a spiteful witness comes forward against someone, so as to testify against them falsely, 17 the two persons who have a legal suit must stand before the Lord, before the priests, and before the judges that are in office at that time. 18 The judges will look into the situation very carefully. If it turns out that the witness is a liar—that the witness has given false testimony against his fellow Israelite— 19 then you must do to him what he had planned to do to his fellow Israelite. Remove such evil from your community! 20 The rest of the people will hear about this and be afraid. They won’t do that sort of evil thing among you again. 21 Show no mercy on this point: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.
Matthew 18.15-20 CEB
15 “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them when you are alone together. If they listen to you, then you’ve won over your brother or sister. 16 But if they won’t listen, take with you one or two others so that every word may be established by the mouth of two or three witnesses.[a] 17 But if they still won’t pay attention, report it to the church. If they won’t pay attention even to the church, treat them as you would a Gentile and tax collector. 18 I assure you that whatever you fasten on earth will be fastened in heaven. And whatever you loosen on earth will be loosened in heaven. 19 Again I assure you that if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, then my Father who is in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, I’m there with them.”
a. Matthew 18:16 = Deut 19:15
SERMON TEXT:
Can you imagine Jesus as a Sunday School teacher? He gets up on Sunday morning, takes a shower, eats a piece of toast, drinks a cup of coffee, and gets on his donkey to ride to Synagogue.
He greets everyone as they enter the Sunday School class. He starts with a prayer—one he wrote: Our Father, who art in heaven…
Then he says, Okay, everyone turn to Deuteronomy 19. No, Simon, it’s in the Old Testament. What’s that, Miriam? It’s the fifth book—Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy.
Now, Hezekiah, would you read verses 15-21?
(Hezekiah reads aloud about the procedure for judging someone who has done something wrong. The need for two or three witnesses and the decision of the appointed judges. He finishes up with these verses: Remove such evil from your community! The rest of the people will hear about this and be afraid. They won’t do that sort of evil thing among you again. Show no mercy on this point: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.)
Jesus thanks Hezekiah for reading the passage. Then he says:
You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also. (see Mt. 5)
(Everybody in the class stares at him and says “Huh?”)
Jesus continues: Yeah, I know what it says in Deuteronomy, but I’m telling you that we need to go beyond that legalistic eye for an eye stuff. If we keep treating each other that way, pretty soon we’ll all be blind.
(The class smiles.)
Jesus says: And I don’t know why Moses said Show no mercy. Maybe he was having a bad day. I have to disagree with him. Our God is a God of mercy. When a person is caught acting out—doing something destructive or unhealthy—it doesn’t accomplish anything if we just punish him—that’s not the point. What we should be doing is giving him a second chance—throw some love his way. Our God is not about punishment. Our God is all about mercy.
(People in the class nod their heads.)
(Ezra raises his hand.) “But what about that verse that tells us to remove him from our synagogue? That makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel.”
Jesus looks at Ezra who is always asking astute questions. Ezra, if our goal is to make the wrong-doer ashamed, that would be a good procedure. But shame doesn’t lead to redemption. That just makes a person feel more self-hatred. It doesn’t set people free.
Let me offer a better way—a more excellent way. Let’s say that the woman who committed a sin was our friend. But she messed up. What we really want to happen is to see her restored to our fellowship. We want her to be our friend again. Friendship is our goal. That’s what God wants—for all of us to be friends with each other, and with God.
So, I would say that the person who has been wronged should go directly to the wrong-doer and gently talk with her about being reconciled. If the wrong-doer comes around, then harmony has been restored. Thank God!
Now, if she refuses to take responsibility for her actions, then take two or three witnesses and go back to her and discuss it again. If that doesn’t work, then the situation must be told to the proper people in our community of faith so that they can communicate with her and give her another chance. If she still doesn’t respond, then we have to get really serious about her spiritual health.
Like Moses said, we set her apart, but not as an outcast! Rather, as a special person of concern. We don’t cut her off from our Synagogue. We make her a special project of our love.[1]
(Sarah raises her hand.)
Yes, Sarah.
“Perhaps we could approach her like we do the Gentiles and tax collectors.”
Good point, Sarah. Yes, we could welcome her into God’s loving fellowship just as we do the “outsiders” like the so-called Gentiles and tax collectors.
Seth says: “Let’s not beat around the bush. We don’t say Gentiles and tax collectors, do we? We say pagans and traitors.”
Jesus says, You’re absolutely right, Seth. We welcome the pagans and traitors here in our Synagogue. And that’s the way we should approach the wrong-doer. She’s like the lost sheep. Remember that story I told you last Sunday? About the shepherd who left the 99 sheep in order to find the one lost sheep? Well, she is that sheep.
Jonathan, who never missed a Sunday, spoke up and said: “Jesus, you’ve given me a lot to think about. But aren’t you fiddling with what Moses told us to do? After all, it’s right there plain as day in the Hebrew. You can’t change what the Scriptures say, can you?”
Jesus thought this might come up. He had already thought of an analogy. It’s like this, he said—you know when a message comes up on your screen and tells you that you need to update your app? Or maybe you try to use a particular program and a message pops up and says that your software is not up to date? Well, it’s like that. The Bible occasionally has to be updated.
Suzanna whispers to Miriam, “What’s he talking about?” Miriam says, “I don’t know.”
Jesus looks around at the puzzled faces. Oh yeah, he thinks to himself, they don’t know about that yet.
Jesus continues: The program that Moses gave us for dealing with sinners was a good one at the time. But now we’ve moved on. An updated program, ah, a revised approach is needed. Not punishment, but mercy. Not shame, but affirmation. Not excommunication, but a welcoming space. Not pointing the finger, but open arms. In fact, that could be our motto: Not one finger, but two arms. Get it? Instead of pointing your index finger and blaming someone, open both arms wide as if welcoming a person into your friendly space. Not one finger, but two arms.
“Yeah, I like that,” says Nathan.
Peter speaks up. “Jesus, how many times do we have to forgive someone?” Jesus says, Peter, that’s next Sunday’s lesson. Ask me that next week.
Jesus looks around the class. Any questions?
Jude speaks up: “What if this process for reconciliation doesn’t work?”
Jesus takes a deep breath. Well, Jude, don’t forget—we’re not doing this all by ourselves. God is our partner during this whole process; and it is a process. So, be patient. I imagine the Lord would tell us something like this: “Where two or three are gathered together in my Name, trying to restore friendship, I will be there with them.”
A few minutes later the class ended, and Jesus hugged everyone as they went out the door, saying, Peace be with you.
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The Eyes Have It
To sustain personal relationships can be tricky. Long time professor of social psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, John Gottman, is an expert on the subject of marital relationships. He and his wife, Julie, founded the Gottman Institute where they have studied thousands of married couples. They will ask a couple to tell their story—how they met and courted, their highs and lows as a couple, and how their marriage has changed over the years. Then the couple will be asked to discuss a contentious issue that has arisen in their relationship.
Dr. Gottman says that after watching a couple interact for just one hour, he can predict with 94 percent accuracy whether that couple will divorce within three years.
How can he tell? It’s not from the anger that the couples express, which surprised me. He says anger does not predict separation or divorce. The biggest warning signs, he says, are indicators of contempt.
These include:
sarcasm
sneering
hostile humor – and worst of all
eye-rolling.
These little acts effectively say “You are worthless” to the other person. Want to see if a couple will end up in divorce court? Watch them discuss a contentious topic, and see if either partner rolls his or her eyes.[2]
The Approach
When we go to meet another person to try and restore friendship, we need to go with the right attitude. Our goal is not to make them feel guilty or ashamed. It is not to win an argument. It is not to feel superior. The goal is to restore the relationship. You “win” if the relationship is restored. And we must be realistic: You win some, and you lose some.
Don’t blame. Don’t point fingers, literally or with words. Remember the motto: Not one finger, but two arms.
When working toward reconciliation, don’t get drawn into an argument or debate. Mostly listen. Affirm the other person. Be Mr. Rogers. Be Jesus for them.
Reconciled
The Good News of Jesus Christ is about reconciliation.
Here is a verse from the New Testament that sums up the gospel in one sentence:
In Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us. (2 Corinthians 5.19)
God is the friend of every person. In spite of our sins. And God sends us out into life with the ministry of reconciliation. Our job is to make friends with everyone we can. And to let them know that God is already their Friend.
In our divisive world, that sounds radical. Even crazy. But we can transcend our natural instinct to get revenge—to get back at those who do wrong. We can do it because the Holy Spirit is our Helper and our Strength.
[Text - 1700 words; 13 min, 36 sec.]
[1] This interpretation I have adopted from John Henson: Good as New: A Radical Retelling of the Scriptures (New York: O Books, 2004), 156. See the translation and the footnote.
[2] Arthur C. Brooks, Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt (New York: Broadside Books, 2019), 23.
